About: Manners Makyth Man by W.W. Jacobs
MANNERS MAKYTH MAN
Produced by David Widger
SHIP'S COMPANY
ByW.W. Jacobs
"MANNERS MAKYTH MAN"
The night watchman appeared to be out of sorts. His movements were evenslower than usual, and, when he sat, the soap box seemed to be unable togive satisfaction. His face bore an expression of deep melancholy, but asmouldering gleam in his eye betokened feelings deeply moved.
"Play acting I don't hold with," he burst out, with sudden ferocity."Never did. I don't say I ain't been to a theayter once or twice in mylife, but I always come away with the idea that anybody could act if theyliked to try. It's a kid's game, a silly kid's game, dressing up andpretending to be somebody else."
He cut off a piece of tobacco and, stowing it in his left cheek, satchewing, with his lack lustre eyes fixed on the wharves across the river.The offensive antics of a lighterman in mid stream, who nearly felloverboard in his efforts to attract his attention, he ignored.
"I might ha' known it, too," he said, after a long silence. "If I'd onlystopped to think, instead o' being in such a hurry to do good to others,I should ha' been all right, and the pack o' monkey faced swabs on theLizzie and Annie wot calls themselves sailor men would 'ave had to 'avegot something else to laugh about. They've told it in every pub for 'arfa mile round, and last night, when I went into the Town of Margate to geta drink, three chaps climbed over the partition to 'ave a look at me.
"It all began with young Ted Sawyer, the mate o' the Lizzie and Annie.He calls himself a mate, but if it wasn't for 'aving the skipper for abrother in law 'e'd be called something else, very quick. Two or threetimes we've 'ad words over one thing and another, and the last time Icalled 'im something that I can see now was a mistake. It was one o'these 'ere clever things that a man don't forget, let alone a lop sidedmonkey like 'im.
"That was when they was up time afore last, and when they made fast 'erelast week I could see as he 'adn't forgotten it. For one thing hepretended not to see me, and, arter I 'ad told him wot I'd do to him if'e ran into me agin, he said 'e thought I was a sack o' potatoes taking aairing on a pair of legs wot somebody 'ad throwed away. Nasty tongue'e's got; not clever, but nasty.
"Arter that I took no notice of 'im, and, o' course, that annoyed 'immore than anything. All I could do I done, and 'e was ringing thegate bell that night from five minutes to twelve till ha' past afore Iheard it. Many a night watchman gets a name for going to sleep when'e's only getting a bit of 'is own back.
"We stood there talking for over 'arf an hour arter I 'ad let'im in.Leastways, he did. And whenever I see as he was getting tired I justsaid, 'H'sh!' and 'e'd start agin as fresh as ever. He tumbled to it atlast, and went aboard shaking 'is little fist at me and telling me wothe'd do to me if it wasn't for the lor.